Once upon a time, a kid named Alexander had a horrible, no good, very bad day. Ever have one of those?? I’ve had several this year. Some days, I think Alexander is my spirit animal.
When you’re having a bad day, full of ‘everything-I-touch-falls-apart’ and ‘everyone-makes-me-want-to-punch-them-in-the face-but-there’s-a-policy-against-that’ it helps to take a few minutes to focus on something that is far more important. Let’s admit, we all enjoy a good wallow (or ‘waller’ for my LU peeps) every now and then, but instead of wallowing in self pity, it’s more productive, and even healthy, to refocus on what is truly important.
Sometimes, refocus comes in the form of talking to a parent or an old friend. Sometimes, it helps to listen to uplifting music or sounds of nature. Getting a massage or prayer/meditation are also great ways to get back to center. For smokers, it comes in the form of walking outside and taking a long, slow drag on a cigarette. Although I don’t smoke, I’ve been known to go outside my office on occasion for a “smoke break” of my own. Looking at the sky, listening to the birds and breathing in fresh air can lower blood pressure and help bring stress levels down. I highly recommend it!
But when you’re in the Big City, the air isn’t always pleasant (there’s a horrific aroma of Cannibis every five feet!) and there isn’t really anywhere private and peaceful to go when 9M other people live within the same 22 square miles. Although some days it seems that there are 500 people within every 50 feet and everyone’s everything is touching you, sometimes it is actually possible to feel very alone.
I’ve been working in NYC for the past several months, and recently, I had a day where I was feeling very much like Alexander. I felt like I was working harder than everyone else to meet a goal that really was theirs to meet, not mine. That day, I felt like I cared more than the very ones who should care the most. I was particularly annoyed and having a really hard time hiding it, so I announced that I was going for a walk and I went outside. The thing that is odd about that is that anyone who knows me knows that I rarely go to lunch and leaving at 5:00 is outside my sense of what is normal. Work. It’s what I do. But, I digress…
My current assignment is within a few blocks of the World Trade Center site. I’d already been here for several weeks and had not taken the time to visit. So this day, annoyed and feeling sorry for myself, I found myself following the crowd that was headed in that direction.
The first time I visited this major tourist attraction was more than a decade ago, while the city (the country and the world) were recovering from the devastating events of 9/11. My friends, who lived in NY at the time and had lost friends that day, told me that the events were still so raw that locals just didn’t talk about it. I remember taking my kids to the site and, although hundreds (maybe thousands) of people were milling about, there was a sad, reverent silence. The one thing I vividly remember hearing was a man sitting on the sidewalk with a flute playing “glory, glory hallelujah”. It was sad, and poignant, and he could be heard for several blocks.
This visit, I am not a tourist, but a pseudo-local working on extended assignment in lower Manhattan and Brooklyn. I wandered in that direction to the “new” memorial site of the fountains were the towers once stood. Let me tell you, there is nothing that will refocus your bad mood, and turn an ‘I feel sorry for myself today’ mood around faster than spending a few minutes watching the waterfalls and reading the names of the innocent lives that were lost that horrible day. It is a beautiful, almost peaceful place that is a constant reminder of that awful day in our history. I’ll bet you remember exactly where you were the morning the planes hit, when you realized it wasn’t an accident, and the Towers fell.
Today, I challenge you to focus on the positive. Focus on the things that are important and the people that you love. Call your mother; look at baby photos of your grown children; text an old friend. You never know when some incomprehensible event will take place or an unexpected diagnosis will come, and your world will be forever changed. Go outside. Refocus. Look at the sky and smell the flowers. Concentrate on the things that really matter and let the rest go. Tomorrow is a new day.
